My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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