Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
how do flat chested girls get laid?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
