haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
