did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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