oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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