I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
