Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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