So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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