i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
