I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
