Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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