found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
