Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
