Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
