how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
