honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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