we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
