there was a trapeze. enough said
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
