My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
