I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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