My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
