What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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