would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
