office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
