i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
