pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
