I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
