I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
