Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
