new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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