watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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