We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
