she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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