Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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