Screwed.edu
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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