I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize