My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
