Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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