It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
