Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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