Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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