He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize