Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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