I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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