Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
