And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
