Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
