where am i from again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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