Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
