You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
