We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
