I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
