is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
