I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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