wanna go halves on a baby?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
someone owes me an orgasm
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
