3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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