Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
