This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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