you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Randomize
